Don't Be Afraid of Your Future 

There’s nothing to be scared of….Right?

At one of the high schools I work at, they have these blackboards near the entrance to the school that they like to write cutesy little sayings on: “Throw kindness around like confetti” and that sort of thing. Things that sound they came from a Dove Chocolate wrapper.

Today’s message was, “Don’t be afraid of your future.” Being the cynic that I occasionally am at the beginning of work, I thought, “What the hell does that even mean? Who, generally, is afraid of their future?”

After a moment of reflection, I realized that I was. Shit. I am.

What’s more, I’ve known plenty of people who are, even if they don’t realize it or speak it out loud.

Two years ago, I was asked to talk to a 12th grade student that I had known since he was a freshman. I’d watched him grow from a 14-year-old pain in the ass to an 18-year-old, respectful, studious, less frequent pain in the ass.

His teacher asked me to talk to him, because his grade had slipped considerable in the final quarter of his senior year, and she knew that I had a relationship with the student. I told her I’d be happy to. I liked this kid, and I genuinely wanted him to do well.

He came toward the classroom doing that shuffling walk some of the teenage boys do: one hand holding up their pants that are already halfway down, walking like Frankenstein’s monster so they don’t crease their sneakers.

Deciding to spare him the discomfort of having to walk more than necessary, I went up to meet him and asked if I could talk to him for a few minutes. He consented, and we went to talk in the classroom next door. Lately, he’d been hanging around with a student who I knew to be a bit of trouble: disruptive, ditching class or showing up late, getting stoned in the bathrooms. Nothing serious, but not a good influence either.

I have a reputation as somebody the students can be honest with (in part because I’ve always been honest with them about my own struggles and mistakes). They know I’m not going to judge them. So, I asked him about it. Was he getting high during school? No, nothing like that. Hanging around with the wrong people? (Gang activity can be a problem at this school). No, definitely not.

“What’s going on then? Why are the grades slipping?” He shrugged, staring at the carpet.

“Are you getting anxious about the end of high school?” Now, he looked up at me.

“Yeah, kinda,” he replied.

I asked him what he was going to do after high school, and he didn’t know. He didn’t have much confidence in his ability to do any college, and he didn’t feel like his parents cared what he did.

It sucks to hear people talk about themselves like that. Kids especially.

Naturally, I assured him that he could do it if he wanted- he’s a perfectly capable young person. And, if he didn’t want to get a bachelor’s degree, there are plenty of other paths: technical schools, apprenticeships, certifications, etc. Also, there’s absolutely nothing with finding a job for a while and figuring out what it is you want to do. We parted ways, with him assuring me he’d talk to his teacher and bring his grade back up, and finish strong.

It’s hard when you’re coming up to a major life change like that. I remember the feeling well. Everybody else seems to have something they are doing. Everybody else seems to have things figured out.

It’s scary.

Sometimes it’s not what you see in your future that is scary, so much as what you don’t see. Maybe you don’t see a future for yourself at all!

I remember that feeling. It’s something I’ve experienced multiple times throughout my life. More than once I’ve felt adrift- going with the flow and hoping something good would happen, but I don’t know what, or how, or when.

It felt like the future was somehow out of my own hands, and that was scary.

It took time, and genuine effort on my part to understand that I am the architect of my destiny.

I create my future.

You create your future.

There may be things that are beyond our control, but we still get to decide what we’re going to do when those things come our way. Are we going to quit? Are we going to cower? Or, are we going to meet life’s challenges head-on, and keep working toward what we want?

It’s not a decision you make once, and then it’s done. Instead, it’s something you must commit to over, and over, and over again.

Your future is unwritten.

Hell, the future doesn’t even exist! Right now, it’s merely a figment of your imagination.

The future is a dream, and it’s up to you to pull those fibers from imagination into reality, and weave them into the creation of your choice, in the here and now.

You alone can make them a reality. Others can support you and guide you, but nobody else can bring your dreams to life.

Don’t be afraid of your future.

You are the architect of your destiny.

What kind of life will you create?